Bullying – Why does it happen to me?

Screaming kid      Let’s talk about this awful trait….

Bullying it’s natural

Did I get your attention on the heading ?. Bullying is a natural action, its true, the animal kingdom and humans will bully or abuse in one form or another. Take a look at a lion with cubs, there always is a cub that is scroungy and malnourished, It’s picked on because it is the Cub runningweakest and it is the same for us humans. If we show weakness we are picked on, it all seems unfair doesn’t it?.

Have you ever bullied or abused someone without even knowing it at the time? Bet you have, bullying or abuse takes many forms the most common is inherited when someone has been involved in the environment of abuse for a while, it tends to rub off on them.

  •  Abuse of trust: We all want to believe trust is like a promise, we rely on that person can keep a secret, look after your money for safekeeping or Pay up on a bet. When trust is abused what happens is the feeling of security goes and it’s like a blow to the stomach.
  • Jealousy: Is another form of abuse. People may start rumours or make life hard for you even take something from you and what makes it worse sometimes it is someone close to you.
  • Manipulative abuse: People can make you believe in something that is not true, take money from you, make you do something you don’t want to do or make you feel guilty etc.
  • Physical abuse: Scare tactic to force you to do something you don’t want to do, keep you scared and submissive, cause embarrassment or to belittle you etc.

 

Understand BullyingCrying at bed

If you are bullied I know how that feels as most of my life I was bullied, at school, at work and even when I going out, you start feeling that there is a target on your back.

Unfortunately, there is no one solution to deal with bullying. A person who is the bully may have an underlying problem, possibly he or she is abused or jealous of someone, has no confidence or has learning difficulty etc. This one is the hardest to deal with, but understanding this may help you to see them in a different light and help you understand that you are not the only one targeted.

Another sort of bullying is the spiteful, name-calling, judgmental type, This mainly happens if your involved in a group of people where you have no escape from, like at school or work. The person who starts these rumours is usually head of the pack and the followers join in thinking they are better than everyone else, basically the followers can’t think for themselves. The pack leader comes across as confident, smart, a people magnet. Be reassured you can be like that, without the bullying trait.

Please don’t build the brick wall to stop feeling, that is a big no, no. It may feel it’s the only way to deal with the situation but down the track, you will regret it. read on I’ll explain how I manage the feeling of abuse and to combat bullying.

Types of bullying

In today s society, there is change happening, awakening to bullying at schools, work and at home. We now have available help in so many areas from physical abuse, online abuse, verbal abuse and awareness what is classed as abuse.   baseball bat

Definition of Physical abuse:

– Touching without permission – Punching, Kicking, Slapping,(causing bodily harm) – Pushing, Shoving, Tripping, (Intimidate possible harm).

Definition of Emotional abuse:

– Offensive gestures – Verbal abuse – Written of typed abuse -Trust

If you are a person who is being abused, I urge you not to take it to heart, It’s like a cold, when your immune system is down you get a cold, if you do not take care of it quickly develops into pneumonia, then the next step death Nobody should die prematurely when it can be avoided, life is too precious.

Steps to reduce the scars of bullying Thinking sit on bench

I don’t think we can ever stamp out bullying but like anything in this world, we can change regardless of what type of situation we are in.

Basically, it’s up to us to make that change, Yep us, we are the ones that allow our mind & soul to suffer. this is where you have to find the strength to stop the attack, don’t let abuse pass your eyes, ears or skin, keep it away from your heart and soul.  If you find it difficult to stop these feelings reach out for help and never feel ashamed. There are so many people who have been in your position, gone through what you are going through, so simply reach out, please. We are all going to carry the scars of abuse but how we deal with it is the key.

You are an individual, only one in the whole world, we need to change our way of thinking from negative to positive, becoming positive will change the way people see us. No longer weak but strong and when your strong, respect will come naturally. The bully will leave you alone because you are no longer weak like that scrawny cub, you are a survivor and a leader.

We can be strong.

As mentioned I have been a victim of abuse and sadly been an abuser, something I am ashamed of. Thankfully nothing too serious I think Happy cubbut how can one tell how much damage we may have caused. I pray that I have been forgiven for any harm I may have caused of any abuse I may have or have done in the past. As time       goes by we tend to reflect on our past and if you are of true spirit, you’ll try repair any damage done, not an easy thing to do, as the saying goes:

” what’s done IS done”

So it’s taken me years to wake up to myself. I suffered is silence far too long, please learn from my mistakes, you have the opportunity right now to change and help others.

I have opened up my heart to share.  I wish the same from you, don’t hide, come out and speak you mind, it helps believe me. If in some way I have encouraged you to make that change or you have made that change I urge you to share your experience in the comments.

 

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbour, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.”
Mark Twain

4 thoughts on “Bullying – Why does it happen to me?”

  1. Hi,

    Wow, I loved this article. I TOTALLY understand about bullying. They were so many “clicks” in school and you know it never ends because there are “clicks” at my work also. Ok, I’ll stop talking or I’ll start telling you stories. Just a few things, like punctuation, grammar and then proofreading it. I had to print mine out and read it over and sometimes out loud so it would make sense. All in all, great article!

    Reply
    • Hi Thank you so much for your feedback love to hear exactly what needed on my post, I take your advise and print it out and proof reed it, I did use the spelling tool I suppose I may of relied on it a bit heavily.
      Again thank you, oh I do welcome stories of Bullies some time it just helps to get it out there. you’ll feel better for it..
      Many blessing
      Shaun

      Reply
  2. I feel there is no excuse to bullying. I can see in the article reasons to justify bullying and I agree this is how bullies are created, however in my opinion they are the weak cub. Sometimes it’s difficult to speak up if you are on your own. If your the littlest cub who has not been given the chance to create a bond with the other cubs. As this article states; the bullies have a pack, speaking up usually results in more bullying. The leader in my mind is the one that no longer has anything to say. The one that is stronger by not giving the bullier the time of day by reacting. The one that walks away, grows and improves themselves away from the negativity and those that wish to destroy that bright light that is beaming from you. You never know once they have increased their skills they might just come back.
    – “Lion King”

    Reply
    • Hello, with you mentioning about the bullying cubs being weak, this tells me if you are that bullied cub your already started to change and strengthen your ability to cope, if you can show happiness and love every minute of the day you may find change in the bullies they are now jealous or they want to be like you and become a friend not foe. Remember a leader of pack cant be a leader if they have no followers, Only show love to your bullies even if you are hurting inside, learn to change those feelings by loving yourself and be grateful of the small things life has on offer always, you have so much to give don’t let bullying dim your light.
      Loved you comment and thank you for sharing
      Shaun

      Reply

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